What Is Self-Trust?

Self-trust is a crucial component of good self-esteem. Individuals with a healthy sense of self-trust are able to learn and grow from their mistakes rather than being paralyzed by fear or self-doubt. Self-trust is not about having all the answers or never making mistakes. Instead, it involves having the confidence to be kind and respectful to oneself and relying on one's integrity even when things don't go as planned.

Impacts of self-distrust

Lack of self-trust can affect various aspects of an individual's life, including the following:

• Work life
  Self-doubt can lead to procrastination, decision paralysis, and difficulty in asserting oneself, which can affect career growth and job satisfaction.
• Romantic life
  Self-distrust can cause issues in romantic relationships, including difficulties in trusting partners and making relationship decisions.
• Friendships
  Individuals may struggle with forming and maintaining friendships if they do not trust themselves, leading to isolation or unhealthy relationship patterns.
• Mental health
  Persistent self-distrust can contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.
• Family life
  Self-distrust can strain family relationships, leading to conflicts and difficulties in fulfilling family roles and responsibilities.

Self-trust and complex trauma

Complex trauma, especially from childhood, can severely impact an individual's sense of self-trust. Those who have experienced complex trauma may struggle with accepting their flaws, have diminished self-esteem, and may resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse to avoid facing their pain.

Signs of low self-trust

Recognizing the signs of low self-trust is often the first step toward improvement. Common signs of low self-trust include the following:

• Procrastination: Difficulty making decisions due to fear of making the wrong choice
• Guilt: Persistent feelings of guilt after making decisions
• Comparison: Constantly comparing one's decisions and outcomes to those of others
• Avoidance: Ignoring or not listening to one's intuition or “gut feeling”
• Seeking reassurance: Frequently seeking others' opinions or validation when making decisions
• Negative self-view: Quickly adopting negative views of oneself and one's abilities
• Rumination: Obsessively thinking about how things might have turned out differently

Tips to improve self-trust

Improving self-trust is a gradual process that involves several key strategies:

• Make time for yourself
  Spend time alone engaging in activities like meditation or reflection to build comfort and familiarity with yourself.
• Practice self-compassion
  Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when mistakes are made. Recognize that flaws and errors are part of being human.
• Build upon strengths
  Develop your strengths. Recognizing your capabilities can help you feel more balanced and less critical of your weaknesses.
• Be decisive
  Practice making decisions and accepting that not all outcomes will be ideal. Use these experiences as opportunities for growth rather than sources of self-criticism.
• Be yourself
  Start by being yourself in small, safe environments and gradually work toward expressing your true self in broader contexts. Understand that it’s okay to feel discomfort, but being authentic is crucial for building self-trust.

The bottom line

Building self-trust is an ongoing journey that involves patience, practice, and self-compassion. By taking proactive steps to address and understand self-doubt, individuals can gradually strengthen their ability to trust themselves and lead a more fulfilling and balanced life.

Additional sources: Psychology Today, PsychCentral, The Foundation for Post-Traumatic Healing and Complex Trauma Research